¿Y VOS QUIEN SOS?

Words by Clara Olivo 
Art By Jaylene Cabrera 

My identity is my deepest secret
A mystery slowly unraveled by time
Desperation for belonging
Free from isolation and shame
Bound by centuries of falsehood
Deflection Erasure 

Latinidad me dijo
there are no Black people
in El Salvador
That “colocha” is something to taunt
A slur
Had I been born with my father’s hair
Would I be more lost?
Wandering in the fog
Looking for the light that will make me divine
Make me loved?
Or would I be in community?
Unafraid to profess my love for my dark skin
For the colochos that bounce as
I walk this madre earth unapologetic and free
Certain of who I am because
I “look the part”
I feel it
But what does it even mean
to “look” Salvadoreña?
Society invalidates me
My people My country 

My country invalidates me
My roots
My history
Erased 

They say there are no Black people
in El Salvador 

Look closely, look farther
Back…
Back…
It’s in our history
In our blood
In my skin
In my heart 

Though I am my mother’s daughter
I too am my father’s child
A legacy I struggle to know
Embracing El Negro y Su Negrita
A forbidden love denied
Rejected
Abandonada cuando lo más amaba
A lifeline to my past 

My history
My roots
Lost
When he walked away