Growing into my own as a mom has consisted of a whole lot of rejecting bullshit norms with a side of praying to the Universe that I’m successfully mending my family’s multi-generational traumas.

Do you raise the children around you?
What do you do to support their growth?
Do you give them water, soil, fire when necessary, love, always?

The stench of a lifetime surrounds anyone near it
The simple act of thinking about it made me cringe
It is ugly and gross and disgusting. It is fat and stupid and I want to punch it in the face
I want to fall off of a high story window because I
I am nothing.

I had this dream growing up that I would be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, have a successful career, a couple of kids, and a picket fence. I would envision myself as this perfectly dressed housewife with dinner on the table.

Vi a mi madre tierra por primera vez, imponente, desnuda y salvaje. Lagos inmensos, playas de arena oscura, montañas rodeadas por nubes en las alturas.

"Mija, you must be planchada y descansando porque no one will ever take you seriously if you don't afford yourself that same luxury." This is a proverb that has trickled its way down through at least four generations…

How I felt this power deep beneath in the slumbers of my soul but I left it there, like the waters of the mediterranean sea, this strength was bellowing below me.

From the moment we created Panocha Zine we all knew we wanted to explore stories around motherhood. We all have our complicated relationships with the concept of motherhood.