Moving with Joy
Words Carmen Vidal
I can’t remember the first time someone told me I’m pretty, and I absolutely remember the first time someone called me fat. I was 7, after swim class, my hair still wet, my skin still smelling like chlorine and my swimsuit clinging to my little chubby body. I clearly remember my cousin muttering the words “No sabía que estabas gordita?” as he proceeded to laugh. At that moment I didn’t know what being “Gordita” REALLY meant, but I knew it was something I shouldn’t be. This started a life-long battle with my body, with how I perceive it, how I feed it, how I dress it, and how I move in it. It all changed at that moment. My body, which up until that point was to me an instrument of play, became a battleground for all the expectations that society puts in bodies and became a painful reminder that I will never fit those expectations.
I have for decades battled with body image issues, disordered eating, and a terrible relationship with movement. It wasn’t until recently, that I decided to stop fighting my body and start fighting for it. This took me on a different journey in which I’ve basically had to re-learn how to eat and how to move in ways that honor my body. I’ve had the pleasure to have found amazing people on this journey that have helped and continue to help me in healing my relationship with my body. Joy has been an essential part of this journey, as she has created a safe space in which I can exist in my larger body and still participate in a movement that reminds my body what she’s capable of, instead of judging her for how it looks or performs.
Joy Bernstein is a certified yoga instructor, and unlike all the other yoga instructors I’ve had in the past, she fully embraces all types of bodies and bodies with different ranges of movement. She came into my life when I was searching for options in which movement wouldn’t become yet another reason to continue to bully my body into “shape”. I’ve been practicing with her for the past 3 or so years and I can tell you, it's been an experience that has allowed me to progress in my journey in body acceptance.
I recently met with Joy for a nice yoga practice and a chat about our bodies, how we got to where we are, and the importance of finding ways to move your body in ways that honor and empower it. I invite you to watch the video of how that conversation went on in the link below. Hopefully, it inspires you to find movement that brings joy to your body and soul.