Between The Border
Words by Bella Ruiz AKA SOL
Art by Christin Apodaca
Soy una mujer chicana viviendo en los Estados Unidos. In the shadows of my two worlds, I remain torn between the rhythm of Spanish and cadence of English. Mis palabras are broken, my tounge cursing the interactions con mi gente, Deeming me incomplete as I do not fit the mold of what it means to be ‘Mexican enough’. In the eyes of my bloodline, I am an outsider, A misfit caught between the verses of a language I cannot perfect.
Yet,in the soils I was raised upon I am branded with the label "dirty Mexican," Mi piel morena a gateway to ridicule. Mi existencia se reduce to a stereotype, a narrow perception that fails to see the depth of my dual heritage due to being blinded by my gold. Though my gold shining bright as my so(u)l. A place where I witness my people being hunted down, Criminalized, denied of their rights to live. And I question what more I can give besides my vote.
Mexican has become synonym to destruction, of a pearly white America that could do no wrong in the eyes of our oppressors. Because somehow they win every bloodbath fought, atleast that’s what I was taught by McGraw-Hill. No mention about the fears instilled, Generational curses, promises never fulfilled, Inheritance of an unjust system that was never built to build with us. Susurros de vergüenza sobre tierras robadas,
Prideful celebrations for the American dream. & The best part about the dream, you get to stay asleep. stay asleep. stay asleep. stay asleep. No need to worry about truth when you’re caught in REM. Even if they awoke, they may defend the reality they’ve come to know. Which just goes to show the only thing we can control, Is our state of consciousness.
Soy una mujer chicana viviendo en los Estados Unidos. You question my identity, my brown skin, ‘Oh she must be Egyptian, maybe Indian’ Pero me conozco, no puedes decirme quién soy.
Soy la sangre que se derramó en nuestros suelos, las flores que crecieron del concreto. Soy las canciones que cantan nuestras madres, las lágrimas que derramaron nuestros ancestros. I strive not to rewrite history, But to become the author of a new timeline. A beacon of light & hope, Because this country could never dim a light as bright as my own. Sol.🌞