Little Girls Skinny
Words by Aida Rodriguez
And I was told Little girls were just that.
Little.
They were to be little.
Not big
Not chubby
Not husky
Not thick
But little.
And little girls got everything.
Everything their heart desired.
Attention.
Love.
Care.
Friends,
And more.
I was told beauty came above anything.
My hair had to be kept.
My dresses tailored
And everything to match.
I shouldn't run through church with a dress or purse.
I should always close my mouth and keep my thoughts to myself.
I had to stop eating because little girls shouldn't be big.
Because big girls don't become little frame young ladies
Who eventually find husbands.
Little skinny girls had the best lives
They had no embarrassments at school
No one called them out.
Little skinny girls weren't laughed at when talking about food.
Little skinny girls were taught not to speak about food.
I didn’t want to end up like that tia, gordita and alone
Never loved or desired.
Always loved from afar
Or loved by boys behind closed doors.
Little girls were taught that love came first and looks were all that mattered.
Young big girls made to eat salads for months and to stop taking Flintstone vitamins because if you're big then you don't need to grow anymore.
Young big girls at 10 were told to help grown men move from 2nd floor to 3rd floor apartments “because we might as well use her weight for a purpose”.
Girls were told that “maybe one day she’d blossomed beautifully if she lost the weight”.
Little skinny girls were taught not to worry
They'd get everything in life.
Life is nice.
Life is sweet to little skinny girls.
But those young big girls got what they deserved.
Dealt with stares
Finger pointing
Gossip
And their own family’s bullying.
Artwork by Carmen Vidal
Dad used to say it would prepare me for the world.
But maybe all this time he meant his world.
Maybe all this time I wasn't meant to be loved by boys behind closed doors.
Maybe I was meant to be told to be a child.
Be happy
Enjoy
Ignore
And when people say bad things you pray for them
Because insecurities are hard.
Because maybe all this time my tias and mothers were jealous of how my tia gordita did things to her heart’s content
And didn't need superficial love from men who were taught to look for looks.
And my story is about this young big girl
Who turned into a big, beautiful lady who then became a big beautiful woman
And lived happily ever after
Not hiding behind closed doors,
Loving herself
And teaching others what's more important
Like character
Heart
Personality
Kindness.
So now
I've become the tia gordita
And it's ok.
Because at least I know that when I’m loved it's based on what's important to me.
So young big girls don't become.
Sad skinny young girls with no childhood and with marriages based off looks....